– Harshaman
What have I learnt in my two years of MA? Is what I keep thinking now and then these days. When I was 16 years old I dreamt of doing Aeronautical Engineering from IIT Bombay. I was reading Wings of Fire back then, the book’s influence had rubbed off on me a little, and I think somehow I internalised those wings of fire if not literally but metaphorically. I think I have become a better listener and I have my dear friend Shalini to thank for, somehow she always manages to have one cool story or the other in store for me!
Yeah, my farewell speech is not about me, but about everyone who has helped me to survive these 2 years and have sustained me for well and good. And then my goofy twin sister Roshni Ramanan who never fails to impress me with her words, and derives a great pleasure from insulting me in front of strangers. At this point I feel like I don’t have a reputation, partly because I think I do not care what others think about me. Over the years one would learn to develop thick skin, and as Charles Bukowski has rightly said, “ Once you are out of hell nothing bothers me anymore’.
And then there is my nemesis, a well gifted writer, perhaps more gifted than me, though we haven’t conversed enough. And I call her nemesis, not because of jealousy or personal beef. But because a part of me admires her.
I’m assuming while I make the move to leave IITm in 20-30 days all the trees, birds, deers and all the animals would sing, “ Abhi Na Jao Chhod Kar’. And everytime there is a seminar or a presentation, I make it my mission to tell everyone what I always wanted to tell. Two courses distinctly changed my life for the better I would say, Aysha Ma’am’s, Modernism and SP Dhanavel Sir’s Renaissance. I wish I could tell them in person, but the right moment never came. Through the Renaissance course, I realised how much could happen just because one man stood for the truth, and as the prince of preachers Charles Spurgeon says, “ One man with God is always a majority’, and it is always good to place conscience above authority and not vice versa.
And I most certainly will not forget my friend Avantika’s words, “ You are a hero in your own story, and you most certainly know how to love people’, and I shall never forget the trip to my classmate Sanjana’s house and the Christmas celebration I had there : the walks and talks with her Dad, the Dosas her mom made and overfed me with so much love and affection. I shall never be able to forget any of these things. I don’t want to.
My classmates hated me in the first few months, and then made jokes on me and on the things I write and the way I write them. Humanities students should be the most compassionate and understanding people, but the very same people could be judgmental and arrogant as well, that is what I learnt from Victorian Realism, and the term poverty tourism. To think that we are doing something great when we are actually not, is our national hobby I presume at this point of time.
I always wrote to bring people together in love, and I am glad my insta page which is now deactivated served that purpose in 2023.
I have more friends outside the department than I ever had on the inside. We too often think we have all the time in the world, but in reality we don’t, today is all we have, now is all we have. And no, my Grade Point Average does not cross 8, but me and my dear friend Afzal celebrated our first sem results with Biryani when both of us got 8 without studying, each equally surprised that both of us got 8 – surprised and happy at the same time.
Him and I both went on to stay in Kochi for 45 days, where I met another cool friend Sarah Khosla, and I do have fond memories with Ernakulam Public Library, and I am the kind of guy who does lots of stunts: like telling my own love story in class by making a presentation, and getting an earful from professors, and what not. I remember the wise words of my elder brother Jeshurun who is doing phD and is from Mechanical Engineering just like I am, “ Dan always remember that the worst is not the worst’ .
And my story will never be complete without bringing Prem and John. Reality is complex and whatever I write is a watered down version of the reality that I have experienced! I encourage people to write more actually. I read a lot of biographies after coming to MA. To quote some, The life and times of George Fernandes, by Rahul Ramagundam, Martin Luther : the man who rediscovered God and changed the world byEric Metaxas , and other good non fiction should be: Bottle of Lies by Katherine Eban, fiction Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.
I think, thinking in terms of communities does not come naturally to us, we are always at the centre of our own universes and thoughts, and only communities could heal the cancer called loneliness that IITm suffers from. I always saw grades as a reflection of knowing your true friends. Not everyone in your class is happy that you got a good grade, people want you to prosper but not more than them. So please don’t think that we are the angels we tend to think that we are – no, we perhaps are the monsters that parents tell their little children about. As long as one realises that no two people’s call is different we all would be fine and happy, I guess.
Epilogue: –
The older I grow the more I see the weight of these three heavywords and how they sustain human life- Faith, Love and Hope.
Thank you everyone who played their part in this play called “ My MA’. in the end it all worked for good, both good and bad alike!
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Article 19 