It is difficult to write for the sake of writing—especially when your heart is in a place thousands of kilometres away; with a person who doesn’t realize that she holds your heart in a vice-like grip; that slowly, it is being squeezed; and no matter what you do, the grip tightens; and you can’t even tell her because she doesn’t even know…
Communication is the cornerstone of human existence—a tool that has aided human evolution; evolving as we have evolved, increasing in its complexity, shaping and controlling the world – and the people in it. In fact, the idea of communication is so deeply ingrained in the human psyche that not communicating is communicating—an insult; a signal that one isn’t important enough to be taken notice of. Historically, non-communication has been used to great effect by people and societies to communicate and control; ostracization is, after all, found across societies. In circles of power where the maxim ‘Knowledge is Wealth’ holds true, communication gains special focus—sending out (or withholding) the right message at the right time becomes crucial. For instance, non-recognition of a greeting to Indira Gandhi usually meant the end of one’s career. It, at times, is a game—the parties know that they have communicated, but pretend otherwise.
And your heart is happy; you are happy; every nerve and sinew in your body vibrates with it – that feeling; a feeling of contentment, of hope, of joy—of love. You send a message—with hope, with a smile, and now—you wait; a minute, a couple of minutes, half an hour, an hour—you wait…
There is another facet to non-communication. Sometimes, not communicating also serves strategic objectives—in fact, Schelling, in his Strategy of Conflict expounds on the same in admirable detail, analysing different scenarios where not receiving information is more advantageous than receiving it. For Schelling, perceived ignorance is bliss—the other party not knowing (or being unable to prove) that you know. The ability to ignore information—to act as if the information has not been received—lies at the heart of human interaction. This facet of communication—not communicating—is something that modern technology has failed to incorporate as it has evolved.
The heart sees red—clenches painfully—and tears threaten to fall. Two blue ticks—message seen. The heart beats and beats and beats. Message seen. She might be busy, you think; surely, she would have replied otherwise? Message seen…
The telegraph revolutionized communication—carrying messages thousands of miles away instantly. It brought the world closer, made it smaller and conveyed information—conveyed words. Bell changed that. Words—information conveying words—gave way to a new era; an era where communication wasn’t just words, but emotions—real human emotions, conveyed instantly. Every pause, every gasp, every inflection—every sound—was transmitted, and allowed communication in a way that had been impossible before. Communication evolved, thrived and morphed. Non-communication lived.
A reply. Terse. An obligation fulfilled. The grip tightens. You sigh. Try to relax. Think. You type—
goodnight :)
Non Communication – the act of feigning ignorance – is dead. Instant Messaging has killed it. IM has changed the way we communicate for ever – no longer can we pretend to have not communicated. Last Seen and the Two Blue Ticks have seen to that.
:)
— Venkataraman Ganesh
Article 19 