— Sivani
It starts with a whisper and a sudden thrill of being in the know.
Something not everyone knows, but soon enough it turns into an open secret and the euphoria disappears.
It might start off as a curious glance and a shared comment between friends, but gossip travels faster than WIFI through classrooms and hostel corridors. We often condemn it by pretending that we are above such practices. Yet for something that we have been indoctrinated to avoid, we tend to gravitate towards it (almost like it is natural).
Anthropologists suggest that it is a way for humans to make sense of human bonds and a sense of acceptable social behaviour. In other words, an informal rule book that suggests how a person should act, talk, behave and carry themselves. But sometimes gossip extends its reach and goes beyond just a guide for societal values and it merges into judgment, exclusion and character assassination. This gossip is not just a mirror but also a weapon that not only reinforces social norms but also punishes those who don’t adhere to it.
In its essence, gossip is a social glue; a simple act of talking about someone in their absence. Yet through this seemingly unassuming act, communities knit together creating a sense of “us”. A belongingness to a group which in turn also creates a “them” or the others that don’t fit into the community. It draws invisible lines about who belongs, who matters and who doesn’t. It reminds people of shared desirable values like honesty, loyalty, respect, fairness etc and it excludes those that don’t adhere to the same values. This turns into a potential con especially in a heterogeneous environment as people’s values are influenced by their different world views and experiences
The power gossip holds over people’s behaviour is wielded using a tool called reputation. One’s own reputation is often very dear as it is in some sense a social currency. Good reputation invites respect, goodwill and opportunities and the very opposite is true for a negative reputation. As a result, we exhibit ourselves in a manner such that our actions align with what is “expected of us”. Human beings do so in an effort to conform to unsaid group norms, steering clear of anything that seems selfish, dishonest or offensive to the group’s cohesion.Thus, gossip serves as a driving force for ethical and community-oriented behaviours.
But what happens when its incredible power to regulate social norms is weaponized? False, exaggerated or malicious gossip often at times end up blurring the boundaries between real and perceived flaws. Accompanied with the speed at which gossip spreads and its magnifying ability, misinformation reaches an all time high. It can also greatly tarnish others reputation and take a form of bullying. Victims of malicious gossip end up being ostracised and devoid of any communal ties.
Sometimes even when intentions are not malicious, the dramatized narration of gossip can end up causing more harm than intended. Being the subject of gossip plays a significant role on one’s self-esteem and at its worst could manifest into depression, anxiety and other psychological impacts.
The stories of gossip are like a mirror: holding up an image of what we think we are, what we think we want to be and don’t want to be. A reflection of the traditional values that we inherently uphold. Gossip is a lot of fun, but the next time a thread of whisper passes between friends remember that it is a double-edged sword that could unexpectedly slash its wielder. Finding the sweet spot is part of the fun, but gossip must be handled with care and sometimes the wisest words are the ones left unspoken.
— Edited by Lakshmi Yazhini | Design by Neenu Elza
Article 19 