I cannot go back; no, I can’t
To the house of my childhood.
Cracked walls and plaster peeling off
The brick and mortar crumbling
In allegiance
To the two failing bodies inside.
Silent horror wrings my entrails;
I cannot breathe
As I come in and see
The moment of blankness in clouded eyes
Before memory seeps in
And floods them.
I sense hands;
Hands which had
Once
Enveloped my entire self in protection
They now trace feeble lines
Down my spine.
I dwell in comfortable dementia
But occassionally
A little girl surfaces;
She holds wild flowers
Picked on sunlit afternoons
She sings lullabies
I have long shut my ears to
Her eyes are accusing
I am afraid of her
I am afraid
She would ask
Of the world I forsake
The day I grew up.

Illustration by Namrata Nirmal
Poem by Swathi C.S.

