Music has always been a part of me. For an angsty teen, it was a way of expression; for someone trying to drown out the voices in her head, it was a resort; and for someone trying to heal, it was therapy, catharsis and liberation. There have been many artists and songs that have touched me in many different ways, but I have to write about that one band that began my long love affair with music. Interestingly, it was the YouTube algorithm that introduced me to Paramore. Tired of listening to the rap songs my brother liked and the semi-classical songs my dad recommended, I accidentally clicked on a Paramore song. It was “Crushcrushcrush” from their album Riot!, and I fell in love.
Paramore introduced me to a whole new world of music. I was fascinated by this world of guitar solos, drums, basslines, screams, profound lyrics, and incredible vocals. Discovering Paramore was like finding something I had always been looking for. For someone who had never dared to have an opinion, finding Paramore was like finding my voice. Though I eventually grew out my emo teenage phase and moved on from many other musicians I had then liked, Paramore stayed with me. This was largely due to their growth. Paramore went through several line-up changes, and the music evolved with the band. I have an open bias towards the lead vocalist Hayley Williams and the guitarist Taylor York, who stayed with the band all through the difficult years they endured.
Digitized by Abhirami G
It is ironic that, though it was Paramore’s alternative and pop-rock sound that had attracted me, my favourite album of theirs—After Laughter—is the one that sounds the least like rock. After Laughter was released in May 2017 and was co-produced by Taylor York. Initially, I did not like it, being as it was a definitive shift from their earlier works. However, it took me just another hearing to love it. The whole album, except perhaps “26”, exemplifies lyrical dissonance. The lyrics, which talk about depression, exhaustion, anxiety and resignation, are set to energetic and upbeat music that embodies elements of ’80s new wave pop and synth-pop.
The album inspired me to stop trying to fit in and to like and do whatever it is that I want, and to be proud of it. The album aesthetics encouraged me to reconnect with my femininity—which was something I had been suppressing as I believed it to be degrading to be feminine—and to find strength in it. And, when I was particularly down and going through a difficult time, the vocals of the song expressed what I couldn’t express, while the music nudged me to get up and dance my way out. And this is how the whole album feels, especially the song, “Rose-Colored Boy”. The album was written by Hayley in the wake of the departure of the bassist Jeremy Davis (and the return of former drummer Zac Farro), which was also a time when she was going through a divorce. Unlike their older albums such as Brand New Eyes, the vocals and music here are not trying to drown each other out. Here, Taylor’s instrumentation is empathetic, a friendly counterpoint to Hayley’s depressing thoughts, as if he is trying to lift her up from her pain. Here, she is no longer trying to play tough or lead us into punk anthems, and instead is vulnerable and resigned.
“Rose-Colored Boy”, the album’s third single, is about pain, depression and giving up. It is also about being open about one’s mental health, the stigma surrounding it and the pressure to appear happy and positive when one feels hopeless and hollow inside. It begins with the lines ‘Low-key, no pressure, just hang with me and my weather’ and goes on to chronicle her relationship with ‘rose-coloured boy’, who is always happy and looks at the world with blind optimism and insists that she be as happy as him. The song is about rejecting the shame that one is made to feel when one can’t be cheerful. The band holds that it is empathy—and not efforts to paint everything rosy—that aids healing. Hayley sings that she is annoyed with the optimism of the boy “Cause I just killed off what was left of the optimist in me” (an allusion to their song “For a pessimist, I am pretty optimist” from Riot!). She says that she has taken off her rose-coloured glasses and is seeing the world for what it is and says that she is “A half-empty girl, Don’t make me laugh, I’ll choke”. Hayley asks the rose-coloured boy to “Just let me cry a little bit longer, I ain’t gon’ smile if I don’t want to”. She perfectly captures pain when she sings “You say my eyes are getting too dark now, But boy, you ain’t ever see my mind”. All the while the music remains upbeat with a synth-pop feel to it and for a band without a bassist, the song has an incredible bassline.
“Rose-Colored Boy” pushes you to dance through your despondence. I felt less alone and it said everything I was struggling to say. It was my incentive to open up and find strength in my vulnerability.
Listen to Rose-Colored Boy by Paramore on YouTube and Spotify.
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