— Khushi M P
I spent all semester waiting for the semester break, the time where I can do whatever I want and live life the way I want it. No college to decide when I get up, when I eat and how late I should stay up. I don’t need to adhere to any kind of rules and regulations because I’d finally be free. I can have the time of my life, back home where my family is waiting for me, spend time with my parents, meet my cousins and grandparents, the occasional school friend. That is what life is truly about, in the end. Happiness. I count down the days for the semester break and start making plans regarding where I’ll go and what I’ll do.
I find out I have one and a half month for the summer holidays, with no academics, nothing to do, and I’m overjoyed! At the start of the semester, this was my chain of thought. But as time went on, I saw other people making plans for the summer. Two of my friends got an internship, another one of my friends started working on a paper, three others had plans for summer school and many others were looking for internships, applying here and there, refining their resumes and making sure their holidays don’t get used the way they’re supposed to be used. Proving the fact that humans are highly impressionable social animals, I also start making my resume, apply for internships, stay on the lookout for opportunities daily. After a month of dedicated searching, I land a summer internship at a decent company, with a meagre stipend that does not justify the work they’ll undoubtedly pull from me.
Now, I can look forward to my semester break with no regrets. I’m not wasting my time anymore, I’m doing something productive. But as time passes, I start thinking, Is one internship enough to call it productive? I definitely have to start reading more. My to-be read list is longer than my read list at this point. I could also try to get a paper published somewhere. Couple of my classmates have published papers in notable journals already. I have the whole of my semester break, I should use it for something like this. Now, the plans I had previously made start breaking down and all I can think about is how to be most productive during the break. If I have 24 hours to myself, with no restrictions, the things I could potentially accomplish are infinite! With this chain of thought, I am literally two minutes away from pinning those motivational videos and quotes that fail to do the one thing they promise to do; give motivation.
As my semester break starts approaching, my end semester exams start. I stay up, study until I’m burnt out and still keep studying because I don’t have a choice. Then there is my last exam, and my semester break has officially started! However, things start to wrong immediately. I do not feel any kind of relief after exams ended because I have to jump straight into work right after a month of studying hard. I also did not anticipate how burnt out and unmotivated I’d feel. Now i have to deal with an internship, my TBR list, the journal paper I wanted to publish, my family, the list goes on and on. Now i don’t want to do anything except lie on my bed and watch Netflix. I pull through my internship somehow because I don’t want to lose it after all the effort I put in to get it. The entirety of my holidays go away in wishing I had the motivation to do something better. In no time, I am staring at the train ticket that has to take me to college for the start of another semester. I feel like I was not productive enough, but I also didn’t have as much fun as I wanted to. In the end, I’m dissatisfied with everything and leave to college for another semester. Again, I start off thinking I should enjoy my holidays to the fullest this time. But then I see others planning productive things with their time. And the cycle repeats.
Design by Khushi M P and Alphin Tom
Article 19 