— by Veena
The people who speak outright? Someone who stands out in a crowd? One who communicates feelings both frankly and loudly? One who easily gets through tough times and still manages to show up? One who has the audacity to question? Or one who stands tall, no matter what?
How cool, right? How enviable too.
But what about the rest? The ones seemingly outside the “smart” spectrum or immeasurable by the “cool” yardstick?
People who wish to speak, but cannot!
People who would love to stand out in a crowd, but miserably fail to?
One who feels so deeply and intensely, but keeps it to themselves?
One who shatters, sways and crawls through bad days… unable to even slide out from beneath the safety of their blankets, let alone show up.
Questioning things!? Please. They can barely find their voice to order their own coffee.
For them, legs shiver like an old and unrepaired washing machine. A huge, mighty lump replaces the larynx. Tad bits of sweat add serum to the face. The heart doesn’t just beat; it thunders in the skull while the lungs deflate like perforated balloons.
I know them. I feel them. Perhaps, I am one of ‘them’.
You could be any of this. Either the extremes or somewhere in the middle, chilling or lost. And that’s all ok.
The point of this discussion is to lead your way through my thoughts, thoughts I’ve been having lately. I call it the “Tag Race” (pun absolutely intended) because of how breathlessly fast we label people we barely know. We categorize and judge with a strange sort of merciless efficiency.
“Oh damn! She is way too cool”
“He is a buzzkill to hang out with”
“Why do they behave so oddly”
Cool for whom? Buzzkill for what? Odd in what terms!?
It is always filtered through the lens of ‘us’. It is always about ‘you’. You are certainly entitled to your perceptions and opinions. But the moment you project those onto others, you are attempting to measure a human being on a gauge that has no numbers.
Does that sound futile? It should. It is exactly as fragile and pointless as the “Tag Race” itself.
I am neither calling for empathy nor calling out apathy. This is indeed an ode to everyone who has been left out, looked down upon and felt too little in this sprint. Most of us have, at some point, stopped running. We have simply run out of breath. Others have started “bunking” the race entirely—much like how the non-athletes at school treated Sports Day as an unofficial holiday. And some of you are still out there, trying to keep pace.
Let it be.
Wherever you find yourself-lapping the field, retired on the sidelines, or hiding in the locker room, the Tag Race will persist. You will always be “too little” or “too extra” in someone’s eyes. That “someone” will likely never stop judging.
You can speak fearlessly? Wonderful.
You tremble when you open your mouth? That’s perfectly fine, too.
Our stories are incomparable and fiercely individual. If others feel the need to have a “say” in your life, let them speak to the wind. It’s your life. Let that sink in.
— Edited by Lakshmi Yazhini | Design by Vasuki
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